This is a topic in which we all can identify with. We all have been hurt by someone who we love or was supposed to love us.
Several years ago, I shared how me, and my sister’s relationship became estranged after the passing of our mother. Without going into all the details, I will say this. Me and my sister where close we did everything together. We had our own friends as small kids in the neighborhood, but our parents taught us to be each other best friends.
I prayed to God asking God to bring my sisters back together. But I knew I could not force it. What I mean is this, there were times I would call, and I could tell that the air was not as comfortable as I would have liked. That is when I knew they were not ready. Over a period, the Lord brought us back together, but the relationship was different.
With my baby sister it was much easier with her then it was with my middle sister my baby sister asked for forgiveness and said that she wanted us to act like sister again. That was the best news I knew that there was hope for us too. We do not let the pass be a part of our conversation. What happen in the past stays in the past.
Now I know some people will say you need to talk about the past but talking about the past for us will not mend a relationship, once you forgive a person to me there is really no need to talk about that pass.
My relationship with my middle sister on the other hand is totally different her and I tried to make it work, we would talk on phone and text, matter of fact she texts me every morning. And I thought things where great until one day I told her about a matter that I was facing, knew at that moment something just felt weird in her voice. She immediately said sis I have to go and ended the conversation.
The next day I got an text message from her where she had rehashed all these old feelings of my wrongs I had done. Talk about being hurt all over again. I cried to my husband like a baby, and I told him I will not do this any longer with her. I love myself to much to allow her to steal my peace. So, after a day or two I informed my sister again of how much I love her and that I had asked her long ago for forgiveness and that I had forgiven her. But I refuse to let you continue to make me pay for whatever it is that you obviously have not forgiven me.
You may ask are we still speaking? I have to say no we have not spoken since that day. I will always love and be there for her. I have left her in God’s hands, and I pray for her that she will be healed from whatever she is holding on it. But I cannot allow her to harbor those unhealthy memories to hold me a hostage any longer.
Having these boundaries in place is not what I wanted I wanted the relationship to be what it was when we were kids and teenagers. But since we cannot have that I must have healthy boundaries.
Relationships are hard that I will not deny. It requires work. But when one of the parties is not willing, I cannot make them. Do I believe that one day she will change? In all honesty I do not know, only God knows. So, until that day I will continue to pray for her and continue to build with the relationship I still have with my baby sister.